Fentanyl Coated Razor Blades Hidden in TV Station Halloween Treats
It’s that time of year, folks. The forces of evil –probably Antifa– are targeting children who trick or treat, probably in “certain” neighborhoods.
If you pay attention, you’ll hear stories about these sorts dastardly deeds in progress from some law enforcement agencies and just about all the stenographers posing as tv news reporters.
The Really Scary Stories for 2022 are variations on the deadly fentanyl disguised as candy theme.
This time around, the focus is on rainbow fentanyl, a synthetic opioid widely used for pain management, which is illegally made into brightly colored pills that can resemble candies like SweeTarts. The US Drug Enforcement Administration has said it’s “a deliberate effort by drug traffickers to drive addiction amongst kids and young adults.”
To nobody’s surprise, the Republican Party has decided this Halloween candy scare is a valid campaign issue this year. On Fox News, a panel discussed whether parents should abandon trick-or-treating this year altogether.
RNC Research (aka GOP Ministry of Propaganda) says “Rainbow Fentanyl has been found in 26 states this year.“ Fox News ran a LA Sheriff Department graphic along with a DEA quote saying “Fentanyl Is the Single Greatest Drug Threat our nation has ever encountered.”
They left off the “Thanks Joe Biden” tagline. If you’re gonna scare the bejesus out of people, forgetting to tell them how to not vote is a serious tactical error. Some crafty atheists could flip this logic for their own evil purposes. And I’ll bet they’d remember to say “don’t go to church” in their twitter feed.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, the drugs in trick or treat candy storyline is utter bs. People who deal with drug addiction will be the first to tell you these stories just aren’t true.
From Buzzfeed:
“There’s no evidence that this is happening, and no one’s giving away free drugs, especially in Halloween candy,” said Dr. Ryan Marino, an emergency physician and addiction medicine specialist at University Hospitals Cleveland Medical Center. “I think getting more information is the best way to empower people to be safe, but at the same time a lot of this reporting from the DEA is not accurate and is distracting from the real things that need to be talked about.”
Overall, our discussions about fentanyl and the opioid crisis need to change.
“The weird fixation on drug dealers out to get your kids just really distracts everybody and makes people more resistant to believing in doing what we can to help people be safe,” Marino said, adding that society’s view of drug use “as some sort of moral issue” is really holding us back.
The merry pranksters at Wonkette made what should be the ultimate argument about how ridiculous this fear mongering is, especially in a capitalist society. Kids of the trick or treating age, they note, make for terrible drug customers, mainly because they don’t have money.
Oh, and it’s a money-losing situation for dealers. How are kids supposed to remember where a loose piece of candy came from? And if they did, would they commandeer the nearest Hot Wheels to return for more?
From Giving Free Drugs To Children For Halloween Is Not A Great Business Decision:
Clearly, this theory has brought to us by the same kind of people who came up with our school D.A.R.E programs and 1990s Drug PSAs in which school bullies accost children in hallways all like "Take these three pre-rolled joints OR ELSE!" and very special episodes where drug dealers just walk right up to you on a playground and offer you some free drugs. Or someone who thought Go Ask Alice was real.
For some reason, conservative America has decided that the only way they can address any issue is by assuming the actual worst, most absurd scenarios they can come up with are what's actually going on. People are aborting babies as they come down the birth canal! There is a mass conspiracy to force their children to become trans! They stole the election from Donald Trump and Italy helped! Satanists are brainwashing children with Bette Midler movies! All art we don't understand is actually about how everyone is a cannibal!
Last year the law enforcement-approved scary story for Halloween came via five State Attorney Generals who issued a warning for parents about marijuana edibles that could easily pass as regular candies and snacks.
Kids overdosing on THC was 2021’s Really Big Fear, according to NPR:
In Ohio, Attorney General Dave Yost issued a similar release, saying that marijuana products resembling candies and snacks are illegal to sell in the state. He emphasized the levels of THC could have "real and devastating" consequences for children.
Yost said that some of the bags may contain upward of 600 to 1,000 mg of THC and warned that if a child were to eat an entire bag, they would be consuming 60-100 times the maximum legal adult serving.
The New York Times interviewed Joel Best, a sociology professor at the University of Delaware who has studied the topic since 1983, looking for insight on last year’s crazed concept:
“This spreads primarily among people who have no idea what this stuff costs,” he said.
A 500-milligram bag of a THC-infused Cheetos-like snack can be found online for $15 and up, while THC-laced imitations of Sour Patch Kids will cost at least $20. That price makes them something few people would give away, he said.
Stories about adulterated treats are so common —dating back to the late nineteenth century— that they have their own category, namely “Halloween Sadism.” One thing the vast majority of these stories have, no matter what the vehicle supposedly used to convey harm, is that they were disproven upon further investigation.
Now I’m NOT suggesting that parents should let their children run willy-nilly on the streets hunting for corn syrup disguised as sugar. There are real dangers to be had, mainly SUVs and pickups so tall the driver couldn’t possibly see a child dashing in front of their vehicle.
A JAMA Pediatrics study from January, 2019 found that 4- to 8-year-olds have a tenfold increased risk of getting hit by a car on Halloween than on any other night of the year.
Email me at WritetoDougPorter@Gmail.com