Trump Trading Cards: The Ultimate Christmas Grift
I am convinced that the former President is finally going to see his day in criminal court. And he knows it’s coming. Check out his latest and most desperate ploy, namely digital tokens with comic book images for the low, low price of $99 each.
While you won’t get a piece of cardboard smelling of bubble gum, you will be entered in several drawings featuring actual and virtual meetings with Donald J Trump, “America’s greatest president.”
Buyers are automatically entered in a sweepstakes to win prizes, including dinner with Trump in Miami, an invitation to a Mar-a-Lago cocktail hour, golf with Trump and the winner’s friends, and a Zoom call with the former president
I should note that there is no evidence that any of the previous opportunities his campaign has promised for presidential encounters has ever taken place.
So, not only do MAGAts get hosed when plunking down cash (or crypto) for something that may or may not exist, they get the opportunity for a broken promise of a meeting with ol’ number 45.
The view from Mar a Lago is that as long as it pisses liberals off, it’s a good thing. Real Americans should be proud to flush their money down this golden commode.
So I’ll take the bait. I feel obligated to post my first mostly graphic column. It’s so unbelievable (and many people are saying so) that you’ll want to share it with your friends and family
On Wednesday Donald Trump released a tease for a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT. Despite a corny graphic featuring Dear Leader as a superhero with lasers shooting from his eyes, there was serious discussion in pundit land along the lines of a surprise campaign to become speaker of the House of Representatives.
Here, without further ado, is the verified text of this historic declaration:
"MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! My official Donald Trump Digital Trading Card collection is here!" the ex-president posted on his Truth Social account. "These limited edition cards feature amazing ART of my Life & Career! Collect all of your favorite Trump Digital Trading Cards, very much like a baseball card, but hopefully much more exciting. Go to collecttrumpcards.com/ & GET YOUR CARDS NOW! Only $99 each!"
Would make a great Christmas gift," Trump added. "Don’t Wait. They will be gone, I believe, very quickly!"
Following are images purported (I think they’re real) to be of these trading cards, along with fictional endorsements supplied by @jeremynewberger, who is a very funny guy that you should follow on Twitter before Elon Musk blows it up.
SEB GORKA: What the left doesn't want you to know is that Trump Digital Trading Cards will mature in value by at least 200% from point of purchase. President Trump is always finding ways to make his constituents wealthy. I am buying all of them. I suggest you do the same.
LINDSEY GRAHAM: We need to pass a law in the Senate immediately making it a Federal requirement to own the complete set of Trump Digital Trading Cards. I'm not horsing around. That's what we need to do first thing, before the liberal majority blocks this. It's National Security.
SEAN HANNITY: President Trump is releasing Digital Trading Cards, or what I'm calling Freedom Cards. The liberals will try to stop you from owning these, as they continue waging war on Christmas, but I'm telling you now, every one of you needs to buy a whole set, at least twice.
DON JR.: I already see the left mocking my fathers' Digital Trading Cards. Really? Really? If Biden sold Hunter cards they would be putting them in their bicycle tire spokes. The left just doesn't want you to have nice things.
KEVIN MCCARTHY: I am pleased to announce that I have just successfully tattooed all 45 Trump Digital Trading Cards on my back down to the upper curve of my backside. Andy Biggs hasn't done that, has he?
TUCKER CARLSON: Ask yourself why the left still buys printed out trading cards and not digital cards. They say they are about protecting the environment. Is it only when it is convenient? Is it only when it serves one race over another?
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